*The following is an except from Edward Lang’s book ‘AGAINST ALL ODDS’ (Coming soon)
CHAPTER 5 (parenthood)
SECTION 1 (Fatherhood)
It’s important for males to understand the difference between being a farther and being a dad. I feel that there is a major difference between being a father and being a daddy. I feel that any man can be a daddy, but not every man can be a father. Being a daddy is a natural right that we have as a parent from the moment that a female whom we’ve had sexual intercourse with, gives birth to a child. But just because we have a child (children) doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re a father. A daddy to me is more or less a sperm donor. He lays with a female and engage in sexual intercourse and as a result that female gives birth to their child.
A father on the other hand mans up and take care of his responsibilities as a parent. He’s there to love, honor, nurture, care for, and help raise his child physically, emotionally, spiritually, as well as taken care of them financially. One does not have to be biologically related to a child in order to be a father to them, nor do one have to be involved in a relationship with the mother of that child in order to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. It takes a special kind of person to be a father and to help raise a child. Fatherhood extends beyond childhood. Being a father is a bond that remains in tack regardless of how old your child becomes. It’s a bond that’s unbreakable and so deep that it’s cherished by your children for the rest of their lives.
we have to be a guide for our kids to help them make the right decisions in their lives and not allow them to repeat the same mistakes and fall victim to the same ignorance that we was apart of in our upbringing. Guidance is something thatbnprovise direction, or gives advice to a decision or course of action.
It’s important that we as men (as well as boys) act as fathers to our kids because they deserve our unconditional love, loyalty, and support. We need to be there for them when they need us the most and set meaningful and positive examples for them to follow. We need to raise them to be productive men and women of society and encourage them to make something of their lives. It’s too many children being raised in a single parent woman household and it’s very sad. We need to fill the void in their livres and step up to the plate and take full responsibility for our actions. For those of us who knows first hand what it feels like to be raised without a father, it is up to us to break this cycle. Why allow our children to suffer in the same manner that we were forced to suffer because our fathers chose not to be apart of our lives.
it’s important for us to pass on the tools and duties of fatherhood down to our sons so that when they have children they will know how to conduct themselves as fathers as well. We need to help prepare our sons for manhood because only a man can teach a boy the principles of how to transition from boyhood too manhood and without our assistance our sons will look to the so called men on the streets to act as a surrogate father in our absence leaving them to go through a never ending emotional filled journey I. order to find the love and support that they lack due to our absence. it will leave them to follow in a false sense of what they believe manhood is about. They will end up defining their manhood around how many females they’ve slept with, how many of their peers they were able to defeat, carrying guns, selling drugs, and living in the thug and gangster lifestyle. When a child is left to define themselves with no parameters of what to value they will accept anything and give it artificial value.
It is equally importantly for us fathers to create a positive image and example for our daughters, nieces, and sisters to follow in as well. Females are emotionally more connected to their fathers them they are to their mothers. So we need to show them how a man conducts themselves in the households as well as outside of the homes as well. We need to show them what kind of love, respect, and support that they should demand and expect from the boys and men that they come in contact with in their lives so that they won’t except less than what they deserve.
A lot of times women are attracted to a lot of thre same characteristics and qualities in boys and men, that they see in their father. we can’t expect our daughters to not be involved with someone who is out there ripping and running the streets, pants sagging, selling drugs, and caught up in a world of negativity if we are portraying the same madness. If we are out there womanizing and sleeping with random females, having babies here and there and abusing and disrespecting our women who are supposed to love and protect, the the odds of our daughters allowing themselves to go through this same treatment by the men they are involved with is more likely them not.
Having a family unit is important I’m raising children and we must be the backbone and foundation of our household. But if we are no longer in a relationship with our children’s mother than it’s important for us to establish some form of understanding with them so that we can be apart of our childrens lives. Don’t allow the problems that you have with your child’s mother get in he way of your relationship with your kids. If you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood than you need to practice safe sex. Being a father can in man my situations be very difficult and twice as hard for a man due to high incarceration rates for males, poverty, and unemployment, but fatherhood isn’t based solely on how much a father can provide for their children, but as well as a solid foundation between the relationship of a father and his child. It’s important for us to also understand that the foundation of our communities has always been structured around a strong family unit.
To be continued.